you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
