The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
