Don't EVER smell your tampon
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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