It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
