I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
