call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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