The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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