Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
