I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
