Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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