your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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