if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
