hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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