i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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