Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
