Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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