I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
