Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
