That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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