woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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