I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You pole danced in your parka.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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