Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
