I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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