Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
