hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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