New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize