She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
