You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.