he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize