This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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