I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize