well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
foreskin is a definite game changer
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
