She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
