I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
