quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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