Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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