real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
