my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
