I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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