So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
