I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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