drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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