i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
