I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize