this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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