After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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