Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You're like the curious george of whores
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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