4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
