my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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