How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize