Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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