THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
