as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize