the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize