Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
