the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
