Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
