Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
