im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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